Today's Yahoo7 answer

Question on Yahoo7 answers
Have a massive crush that isn't going away, but I'm in a relationship with a child!?
I'm in my late 20's and have a toddler with my fiancee. We've had a very up and down relationship, nearly broken up many times but deeply care about eachother. There are lots of problems in the relationship still, but lots of good points too, so some days I think we'll end up breaking up and want to get out of this situation, other days I think we can work it out. He's a good man and a good dad.But I have a massive crush on a language teacher of mine. He's hansome, incredibly intelligent, funny etc and I'm attracted to him to the point of distraction. He's in his 40's, and I don't actually think that he's serious relationship material even if I was single (he recently broke up with his long term girlfriend so he's single) because there are a couple of differences there (and because of the age difference I doubt he'd want to take on a child!) but there's such strong chemistry there it's driving me nuts. We flirt a bit, and he often tells me how beautiful/gorgeous I am.None of this is helped by the fact that I don't have that strong chemistry with my fiancee (never really did to that degree) and that our s*x life is almost non-existant.I wouldn't cheat, I'm totally against that, but I'm going a bit mad with this. Crush on teacher has been going on for about a year. So probably not going away soon, but couldn't potentially be ignored!Advice?

My answer:
Dear Lara, It's time to do some serious cuddling with your man :) If you don't have sex anymore it's totally understandable that you have a crush on somebody else. You are screaming out for attention, to be seen as a woman, as sexy, as a romantic energy. We are human and we need to play and bring out the love and sensuality. If life is all about practicalities, that leaves a void... Do NOT rush away and leave your man now. The 40 year old teacher is probably playing you. He is recently out on the market and is himself searching for sexiness validation. Don't go there. Use him as an ego boost (he think you are hot!) but go home and cuddle with your man. It is important to have a sex life and if it doesn't come naturally, you need to work on it. Make plans, talk about needs and take time. Check my Youtube video about this as a start and drop by Bondi for a free coaching session if you want to! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhQuq0Ufi...You will be a happy family, sexy mama :)/Carolin, The Love Coach

When someone stops believing in love?

I got a comment on my youtube channel (www.youtube.com/carolinlovecoach): Love can go suck a fat fucking roach. I'm probly better off not letting anymore of that bullshit "flow into heart" again. that way, I can avoid it getting shredded in the future which I knew would happen before I ever decided to be stupid and open up. Now, its back to square one. and I'm going to keep myself from ever getting close to another lying slut. better yet, anybody cuz you never know.

This comment makes me so sad. I don't really know how to respond, I just want to give him a big hug.

My reply was: "Sweet, Don't give up on love! Life is built of love. Everything is love. If you expect it to hurt you it will hurt, but only because you LET IT. Love is always on your side. You will be loved again. You will love. As long as you open up for it, love will come in. I promise you that. What do you have to loose?"

But it feels weak. What could I tell him more?

Twitter

tweet tweet www.twitter.com/carolindahlman

In love

gee, i love being in love. in a good relationship it happens over and over.

Is "He's just not that into you" always the truth?

I am a knowledge partner at Yahoo7 questions, which means I answer 20 questions from the public every day. Today I wrote like this:

Open Question
Is the movie ' just not that into you ' kinda true? How do I know if this guy still wants me?
I got to know this guy for a while and all of a sudden he won't talk to me because I was out partying with friends and he heard some guys saying some suggestive things in the background of my phone. If he really liked me then he wouldnt cut me out completely right? Just like the movie said 'if a guy doesnt text or call then he's just not that into you'.

My answer

Hi there, The movie is for sure an eye opener for a lot of women who wishes things were different. It gives us power to choose better and respect ourselves. See the movie as a gift of knowledge and insight. Having said that... life is not black and white. It's a rainbow! People are different and we can't be judged out of a rulebook. Every situation must be interpreted in it's own unique way. I have interviewed hundreds of guys for my new book The guy guide (www.coaching2love.com) and love is complex...This guy is obviously jealous and since guys HATES to be rejected he might prefer to stay away. If he really likes you he want to protect his heart. You know that. What do you think you could do to get him back (IF that is what you want...)? Talk to him and really tell him you like him? Good luck sweetieCarolin, The Love Coach

www.coaching2love.com

What's a relationship good for?

When I coach singles I often hear that they don't really know why they want a relationship. They say they don't want to be lonely and single anymore, but that is not a good enough explanation. That is only taking you from minus to plus on a scale. To really get motivated to make the changes necessary for you to get what you want you need a clear vision that you WANT. If you want love because you don't want the opposite you are stuck in negative thinking. Be clear to yourself. Clarify the goal, your dream and what kind of feelings you want to get out of the company of a lover. Trust, safety, joy, happiness... what is it? What is in it for you?

Turn no into YES and misery into LOVE

The guy guide - FINALLY OUT

My new book is now for sale!

Chill ladies. You don’t have to worry and wonder anymore. The Love Coach Carolin Dahlman has created a unique, useful and sought after book about single men, out of hundreds of interviews combined with her experience and insights from years of coaching men and women to find love and stay in love.

This is the perfect book for every single woman who want to understand guys. It gives you the answers you have always wanted. It reveals the secrets, the thoughts and the mystery of men. Why, when, how? No need to be confused any more. Just open this book and start using the power of knowledge. Date smarter, find love faster.

The book is only $20 including postage. $10 as an e-book. Email

World kissing day

I think kisses are for everyday. Read that a 10 sec kiss every day can help save a marriage.

The Facebook group "Kisses" are planning to have a world kissing day on the 1st of May. At 12 am we are all gonna find another pair of lips and enjoy.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Kisses/35152599010

What's stopping us from LOVING

I just need to share my horoscope for today (http://www.cairner.com/)

"Libra, Monday, 20 April 2009
It isn't easy to have a heart. That's why so many people are callous or ignorant. They limit the access to their deeper feelings. They put up emotional walls and psychological barriers. They hide behind their opinions, habits, busy timetables and convenient, well-rehearsed excuses and explanations. To be sensitive is to be vulnerable. But it is also to be free; open in a way which can never otherwise be possible, to a host of wonderful experiences. You are being a true human now. That's got to be wonderful."

This is exactly what I work with. I help you take those walls and barriers down. I hep you see, to be able to get control.

What do you want to read about?

Hi reader, I want to write about what you want to read about. What kind of advice do you want and need? What are you wondering about? How can I help? Please comment or send me an email. xo

Heal your heart first

We want love in recession

The economic crisis really makes us go back to what is really important in life - LOVE. We seek stability and comfort at home when the office is all turbulent (or has kicked you out) Divorce lawyers say business is down. Online dating sites are experiencing double-digit growth. On days the Dow dropped by 100 points or more, eHarmony saw an increase in the number of pages people viewed on its site compared with days when the Dow increased by 100 points or more. Perfectmatch.com has found a similar trend. In the fourth quarter, when the Dow plummeted, revenue increased 42 percent from the previous quarter and the number of registrants jumped by 62 percent.

For anyone who wants help with this, I am here to love coach. Email: coach@coaching2love.com

Lindsay Lohan looking for love

Well, the young actress is at least pretending to look for love in this video....

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25067201/vp/30227310#30227310

The whole story:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30209640/

It must be difficult to be so famous and hunted by the media all the time. Who dares to take the step into her life? Going on a date with the cameras flashing... We are happy being "normal" aren't we... :)

Women will dump because of shoes

It's a sad fact but a lot of women will ditch a guy because of the way he dresses. So guys out there... I know it's not fair, but have a look at your outfit, since it might be stopping you from getting a lady. Ask friends for honest feedback, go to a store and ask for advice or have a look in the mirror...

Also remember hair style, hygiene, eating etiquette etc... Small things can be big things for a girl. And you want to get the chance to meet that girl of your dreams, don't you? :)

Break up cure, the video workshop

How to handle a break up without a break down

Q: My boyfriend left me for another woman 18 months ago and I’ve been trying to find a new boyfriend ever since without success. Now I heard he’s having a baby and it’s so painful. He is moving on, but I’m still at the same spot. It’s not fair. I am so angry.

A: Dear, you need to heal your heart after a break up. When you rush away to find a replacement you hurt yourself even more. And you will never find a good man if all you’re going to use him for is to get revenge or just a body to go with your life style.

Now do what you should have done 18 months ago. Focus on your own happiness and get ready for a better future.

1. Be open and honest about how you feel. Make sure to clean your system from questions about the break up, cause these questions might stop you from moving on. That anger of yours is for real so accept you’re feeling it. It is ok. It you suppress your feelings they will keep on wanting to pop out. Say to yourself: “poor girl, I understand you feel angry and sad, but things will be better”.

2. Remember all the good things you had with your ex and be grateful about them. Write a thank you letter to him – without sending it. Say “thank you” for that he made you feel, thank him for giving you these memories…

3. Wish each other good luck, and then stay away. Don’t stay friends. You need to move on now!

4. Draw a vision about your bright and happy future. How do you want to live, be and feel? Write a letter to yourself in one year. Describe where you are, what you have achieved and how you feel.

5. Make a list of what makes you happy and smiling – and do MORE of this! You deserve it!

Break ups are always sad. But you break up for a reason, and now you have the strength to create your happier future. Don’t dwell on the past, girl friend! You can feel better if you choose to.

And if you feel good from within you will attract a great boyfriend.

Free workshop in Sydney April 15, last chance to sign up today

Email workshop@coaching2love.com to sign up

I'm not your friend

Today I got an angry email from a client. It happens. She was upset about the way I had questioned her in our last session. But that's the power of love coaching my dear. I don't act as your friends, "supporting" you in every way. I will ask difficult questions and touch you on a deeper level.

To be able to change you first need to be aware of what you need to change. Like an alcoholic first have to admit he's got problems to be able to go through the tough period of rehab, you need to see what you need to change to get more love into your life. Most of us prefer to be blind, since the truth can be hard to admit...

That's why I sometimes upset my clients. I force them to question a behaviour they have gotten used to since years back and that they hold on to. Of course I don't want to have upset clients, but I am aware of that it is a part of the process towards change. If I just pat your back and agree with you, the love coaching takes you nowhere.

I "hurt" you because I care.

New book about guys

Look out for my new book about men. I have spent the last years interviewing lots of guys about love, dating and relationships. It's time to reveal the results... Are you curious. Preview for everyone who emails info@coaching2love.com

New research show that couples who get a kid lose a bit of their happiness. Isn't it sad...?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090409/sc_livescience/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction

This does not mean that you should not have children. It means that you should be cautious. Make a proper plan for how to save your marriage after. Children are going to challenge the relationship, but if you have a plan for how to handle it, you will be just fiiiine. :) Discuss things like:

1. How should we act and react towards each other?

2. What do you need from me?

3. How will we have time to save the relationship?

4. How to we avoid issues like jealousy, tiredness, no sex etc...

More in my upcoming book True Love - the recipe

Happy Chochie Holidays

Wow, it is allowed to eat chocholate this weekend... But I don't think I need it anymore. I'm loosing weight since I don't feel like eating bad stuff in the evenings anymore. I don't miss it at all. A psychic I met told me it could be because of the positive energies in my new apartment. She said that women are very perceptive to energies and the reason some women get over weight is that they are super open and take on a lot of negative energies. They are the ones who help others etc, and therefore get a lot of stuff... And if you can't cleanse, you eat heavy food to push the negatives down.

Hmm, I don't know what to believe but I do think my new place is lighter and happier. And I suddenly don't need that many chochies.

Weekly love letter

I am creating a more professionally looking news letter and tomorrow it's premier!!! I might improve it later on, but I just want to start sending it out :) You can sign up on my website www.coaching2love.com or by emailing info@coaching2love.com

Yahoo answers

I am a knowledge partner at Yahoo 7 and answer questions from Australians. Like this...

Open Question
What should i do about my Ex?
My ex and i broke up over a year and half ago we were together nearly 3 years. I found out he had been cheating on me through a friend. He always denied it but after we broke up he has been with this girl in a relationship. He remembered my b'day wish shocked me and gave me a call saying he would like to meet up for a chat but understands if i don't want to. What do you think he wants and should i meet up with him ?He really hurt me, i haven't dated or hooked up with a guy since. I felt so insecure about myself because the way he treated me when i was with him.

My answer
Darling, It is closure time and I'm not sure the ex has to be a part of it... Why would you meet him at all? What's in it for you? Do you wish for him to come back? IF you decide to catch up with him you have to have your goal clear. What do you want to achieve? About your insecurity... It is so sad how we let heart wounds take over our lives. Your fear of falling in love again is unnecessary and leads you nowhere. Don't you agree? The fear you feel does not help you be a happier person, right? So what to do...? I feel you need some emotional detox. You are very welcome for a free session with me if you want. Otherwise I suggest you start setting goals for the future and ask yourself where you are going and how you need to be, think and do to get there. Tricky process, but you need to move on. What's the point of being insecure? Good luck sweetie,

Carolin
www.coaching2love.com

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtOl3d2jCxjwZSBLqPelj6zg5gt.;_ylv=3?qid=20090406004223AAbKUAb&show=7#profile-info-BHAIDeTbaa

I believe in love

like a religious person believe in God. Love is all around, for everyone, within you and without you, and the more we love the more love there will be.

Love facts and figures

Did you know...?

Eleven percent of women have gone online and done research on a person they were dating or were about to meet, versus seven percent of men.

Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover's memory.

Read more here

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=10416019

Free workshop

April 15th in Sydney. It will be soooo much fun, and very useful. Email workshop@coaching2love.com to get a spot.

It is a lovely day

Wow, this day is amazing. Anything can happen!!! Keep your eyes open for miracles.

Men and cheating

Hi there, I would like to get men's opinions on:
- being friends with girls
- infidelity
- text flirting

It's for the last parts of a book that I'll finish this week so hurry up, please :)

Cheers
Carolin