Question: Why do I always pick the wrong guys?

Dear,

There is no such thing as Wrong guys, because people are always Right. There could be the Wrong combination or timing, but never Wrong people. We all have the ability to be nice or evil, but deep down we are Right. Perfect.

You are probably right when you feel it might be your "fault". You assume to meet men who do "the same as everyone else". You signal something, you think you deserve them, you are attracted to their negative sides.

What in your life has taken you into this pattern? Write down your story and find out what has created you and then decide to let it go. Why do you want someone who controls you?

The men you meet aren't happy either. They also want to be Right but they have a pattern that makes them drawn to you, where they reveal their Wrong parts. That won't make anyone happy either. We all want to be our best deep down.

Come back if you want more advice
Carolin

7 steps to looooove

It's a lovely day

Look at this day with your sunniest glasses. Isn't it beautiful? Isn't there soooo much to be happy about? Don't you meet great people? If you want to see problems, you will see problems. Seek instead the sun. It's warm.

Never never never give up

I have a friend who is about to give up. She is tired of her job, her life and of being single. She want to escape, move to another country or another life or just... get away.

Sometimes you feel like that. You have not succeeded in the way you wanted and you want to start all over again, fresh, new.

I feel like that too. When I can't get enough paying clients or speaking engagement. Then I doubt myself and my ability. I want to give up and start working in a café or just... escape.

There is no escape. Your life will have its ups and downs wherever you live or whatever you work with. How you feel depends on your ability to have the right attitude and have a strong core and faith in life and yourself.

You are beautiful. You have the power and passion within you to reach the stars. It's only fear that is stopping you, nothing else.

If you fear living here and now and take responsibility for your choices you will end up in harmony instead of chaos.

I have been low this week and negative news have affected my mood. But I know I can not give up. Helping people falling and staying in love is my mission. I need to keep on. But what do you think that I need to change to get more people coming? Help me help now, dear friends :)

How to win friends

Join my facebook group :)

http://www.facebook.com/groups/edit.php?gid=60340257787#/group.php?gid=60340257787

How to get good mates

A few guidelines in how to make people like you, penned down by Dale Carnegie in his book "How to win friends and influence people":

1. Be interested in them. Make sure you have an open heart towards others, that you like people. If you pay attention to others and make them feel that you think they are special, they will like you too.

2. SMILE. Everyone will respond well on a smile. It makes people feel comfortable and liked.

3. Remember names. Our name is our identity. If someone calls us by name, we feel seen.

4. Be a good listener, encourage people to talk about themselves. It’s really the same principle. If you are interested in people they will adore you. Ask questions, pay attention and be honestly curious.

5. Talk about what the other person is interested in. If you want to impress someone, find out what they are passionate about, and learn more about that, so that you can bring that subject up.

6. Make the other person feel important. Everyone wants to be important, needed and special. If you tell people you value their opinion or are impressed by them, they will like you better.

These rules work most times. Not always of course, but why not give them a try?

Celebrate Valentines with LOVE

Love on a distance

A friend has a girl who is away for 6 weeks. He doesn't see them as a couple while she's away, but "you'll never know what will happen when she is back"... Long distance relationships are tricky. I was with a guy in Sweden when I came to Australia a few years ago, and even if we said we would leave it we kept in touch and missed each other soooo much. The phone calls were very emotional and the feelings just got stronger. We were so far from each other and from reality that we both created fantasy pictures up in our foolish heads. He started looking for work in Sydney and booked a ticket.

When he came down here it was amazing for a few days, but then Reality came lurking. Flaws and faults and differences that we had avoided seeing for the months apart just came as a shock. He went back after two weeks... Thank god :)

Another friend is now married to a guy she had a long distance relationship with so there are no real rules...

Just make sure you are honest to yourself and not escaping life here and NOW.

For love coaching: http://www.coaching2love.com/

Mountain biking

I had such a lovely weekend, mountain biking and hiking at Barrington tops, north of Newcastle here in Australia. It was just beautiful, and with 17 crazy mates it couldn't be better.

Life is about relationships, about friends, family and love. It's about smiling to the same people at my café every morning and about going to the movies with a friend, not saying much but still have each other. Our love to others is what makes us happy.

How can you show love today?

How happy are you?

I just found a great page where you can test your level of happiness. It's the legend in happiness research dr Martin Seligman who has put this page together. I scored 4.04 of 5 in general level of happiness, which means I'm as high or higher than 95 % of people in my age, gender etc. Love coaching really works!!! Just look at me and my friend Maria here on the pic...

http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/default.aspx

Thanks Noel Posus from askacoach.com for the tips...

Can you be too nice?

A girl in my group of friends, who I don't know that well, told me something interesting yesterday. I found her being very rude to me, and constantly walking away when I came up to her. It was very confusing, and since I can't let those things go... I asked her. She told me she was annoyed with me because I was so soft, always so smily, "peace, love and understanding" and talking to everyone in the group. This drove her mad. "Not everyone is like that!!!"

I still haven't been able to capture her thoughts and understand, but I learned something. I learned that people don't really want happiness or be around happy people. It could be that it's irritating if you're not happy yourself, but it could also be because I'm boring...

I don't gossip, bad mouth or bitch. I sure used to, before love coaching myself, but now I want to be around positive energies. I'm becoming more and more sensitive about it and as soon as someone is grumpy I stay away, since it affects me. But that could be boring...

Do you understand the girl? What is my lesson to be learned?

Everyone has something beautiful

Look at people around you. At enemies or friends. At people on the street and best friends. Today I want you to see something beautiful in everyone. Something that you like, something that you are impressed by or find interesting. Do they have nice jeans? Or do you like their eyes? Are you stunned by their caring personality? Find the beauty. It will make you feel good. Promise.

And you will also spot the beauty in you...

New Facebook group as well

Also visit my new Facebook group. It's brand new, so please give me feedback! Thanks.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1660747243#/group.php?gid=60340257787

My Myspace account

I have a new Myspace group. Want to be my friend? :)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=450895333

Read my new Cosmo column

Check out my tips for single girls:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com.au/the_single_girls_survival_guide.htm

Be crazy, cause maybe you are not?

The amazing Richard Sauerman always find
amazing quotes for his weekly letter. Sign up through his page: http://www.wakeuptiger.org/

I want LOOOOVE today

This morning I feel sooo much like getting a big hug. HUG ME. I am not sure if grumpy Reuben who owns the café where I'm having my coffee (Skinny dip in Bondi) would be happy if I hugged him right now...? Hehe, he would probably freak out. Should I instead get a cat? I was actually in a pet shop yesterday to discuss different types of fluffy lovely little...

The best way to get love is to give love, so I will today be the most loving person in the world. Smiles, touch, compliments, gestures. And I promise I will give without asking for anything in return (otherwise it won't work and I will just ooze desperation). Maybe 1 in 10 will give me love back, and that's amazing.

Looooove me :)

Saying "I love you"

I got the question the other day about who should say "I love you" first, the man or the woman?

My point is always that there are no rules. After coaching hundreds of people about love I have learned that we are all so unique and different. Some are shy, some outgoing. Some "loves" everyone, others hold back. Some are fast, some slow. Etcetera...

That is why you can not set a rule about who should say I love you first. What if the guy is scared of rejection? What if the girl cares more about words than him?

The best advice I can give is to use your intuition and sense when it is time. Don't decide that after 3 months you "should" say those words. Don't say it because your friends think you should. Be sensitive and look for signs in his behaviour that can tell you if he loves you or not.

Only say "I love you" when you seriously say that you can say those words without demanding the same back. That generous love is the true type...

Or what do you think?

Flowers

The other week a friend sent me flowers! It was so amazing to find a big bunch of pink flowers outside on my doorstep when I came home after a day of meetings. Wow!

Send someone some love today. Why not through lovely Rachel's business: http://www.lazytulip.com.au/ ?